Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta Echo Foxtrot Golf Hotel India Juliet Kilo Lima Mike November Oscar Papa Quebec Romeo Sierra Tango Uniform Victor Whisky X Ray Yankee Zulu

The NATO phonetic alphabet
Is permanent and fixed
Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo,
And the rest of that tedious mix.

But just using those words isn't much fun
So I made one up for myself,
One that fits in with my own set of needs
And you can do one for yourself.

A for Asshole, I've known lots of them,
B for the Bastards who
Are all C for Cowards, the spoilers in life,
D for the Dastardly things that they do.

E for near Empty, the stock of good friends
Who are there for me when times are tough,
F is for family who ought to be there
But who simply do not care enough.

G for Grief when I'm lonely or sick,
When family and friends disappear,
Too lazy or busy to pick up the phone
Too selfish to bother to care.

H is for Happy I've made up my mind
To cut out those family and friends
Who insist on receiving but don't give respect
Because this is where using me ends.

I for Important, I must look after me,
And sod all the folk who neglect.
J is for Justice when I see their pain
When I say they don't merit respect.

K for Kleenex, much needed when
I'm down in the dumps and in tears,
L is Lessons not easily learned
When your mind is distorted by fears.

M is for Mother whose mothering skills
Were dubious even at best,
N is for No when she demands
Forgiveness before she's at rest.

O for Obsessed like my mother-in-law
Obsessed with herself and her wants
P is for Piss Off and that's what I'll say
When she starts on her "Me, me, me" rants.

Q is for Queen, the male mother in law,
Who won't even answer my mail,
"Too busy" he claims to send me a text,
Words for him totally fail.

R for the Rubbish who claimed to be friends
When they were in need of support,
But failed to come through when I was in need,
Well I'll shoot them all down just for sport.

S is for Shitty and that's how I felt
When I was let down by these shits,
People, in theory, close to me but
In reality simply the pits.

T for Triumphant because I've pulled through
A horrendously difficult time,
And the fact that I did it in spite of the fact
That some people impeded the climb.

U is for Useless family and friends
Who aren't worth a space in my life,
V is for Vacant and that is the space
They have left because they caused me strife.

W is for Wankers, X for X friends,
Colleagues and family too,
For now I've decided that I have no room
For people who make me feel blue.

Y is a letter and also a word,
So why did I give these folks time?
Z is for Zero tolerance now
That I've buried these bastards in rhyme!

Lynne Joyce 24.09.2014